i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
