The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
