This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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