So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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