i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize