You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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