so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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