I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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