Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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