I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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