Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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