I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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