dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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