I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
