I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
...so i touched it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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