Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
