Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
