Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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