I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
