what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
