So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
