There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
