Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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