At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
