Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
