I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize