ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
