I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
