I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just had sex bonerless
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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