Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
