Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
