apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
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This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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