I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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