On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
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Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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