Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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