I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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