Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
