All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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