I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
