Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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