I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We need to rekindle our bromance
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
