he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
