i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
