I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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