Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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