We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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