How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
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Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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