; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My dick has a subreddit
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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