I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
