Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
