So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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