the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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