Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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