sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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