my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
