don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
