come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize