she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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