then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
