How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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