Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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