Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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