I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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