I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize