with your own penis?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
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I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
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I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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