PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize