Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
