I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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