Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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