I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
