It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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